NFL – A Mocking Mock Draft

(ABC News)

(ABC News)

Since everyone is getting in on the Mock Drafts I figured I’ll join in on the fun. Here’s goes nothing.

#1 – Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Jameis Winston, QB, Florida State

Lovie “Rex Grossman Is Our Quarterback” Smith will get his “franchise” QB in Tampa. What’s funny about Tampa is in the 39-year history of the franchise they’ve never had a “franchise” quarterback. Even in-state rivals Miami and Jacksonville had their Dan Marino and Mark Brunell (or Byron Leftwich). But the Bucs’ best quarterback ever was Brad Johnson who rode an all-time best defense to the 2002 Super Bowl. I can’t imagine what could go wrong here …

#2 – Tennessee Titans: Leonard Williams, DE, USC

This pick is entirely up to how big of a mistake Tennessee wants to make in trying to trade for Bears QB Jay Cutler. They can’t see the future in Jake Locker or Zach Mettenberger as their full-time QB, right? Or Jay Cutler for that matter? Yet they’ll pass on Marcus Mariota because … well … I don’t know.

#3 – Jacksonville Jaguars: Dante Fowler, OLB, Florida

Jacksonville hasn’t picked a great defensive player since … umm … hold on … 2009 when they took Terrance Knighton? He played four seasons in J-Ville and had a whopping 7.5 sacks. Point is Jacksonville has no idea how to draft defensive players. Maybe this will change their fortune.

#4 – Oakland Raiders: Amari Cooper, WR, Alabama

The Raiders are that team that almost always takes the skill position player when they need offensive linemen the most. I suppose taking Cooper isn’t horrible as it gives Derek Carr a nice weapon. But what plagues the Raiders the most is the ghost of Al Davis haunting the halls. And the ghost always tells them to take the big name.

#5 – Washington Redskins: Brandon Scherff, OT, Iowa

The ‘Skins will finally address their second-biggest issue: keeping RG3 upright. Of course their biggest issue is preventing RG3’s legs from imploding.

#6 – New York Jets: Marcus Mariota, QB, Oregon

Let the nightmare begin. Mariota better hope the Eagles swoop in and trade up ahead of the Jets to grab him because if the Jets do in fact take Mariota he’ll be doomed. Is it too late to go back to Oregon?

#7 – Chicago Bears: Vic Beasley, OLB, Clemson

All hail the future Hunter Hillenmeyer! Or something like that.

#8 – Atlanta Falcons: Randy Gregory, DE, Nebraska

The Falcons need to address their defense and a good starting point is Gregory. I really don’t know what else the Falcons should address because even if they’re a great team they’re going to choke in the playoffs.

#9 – New York Giants: Danny Shelton, DT, Washington

They just franchise tagged Jason Pierre-Paul and getting a hole stuffer like Shelton will make that defensive line much better. Now what to do about their bumbling quarterback … God I hate that he has two rings.

#10 – St. Louis RamsLa’el Collins, OT, LSU

The Rams have a couple of options here. They can trade down and take a linemen later, trade up and take Mariota to replace Sam Bradford, or forfeit their draft altogether as collateral to expedite their move to Los Angeles.

#11 – Minnesota VikingsDeVante Parker, WR, Louisville

Parker is not the best receiver available here but the Vikings are going to be enticed by getting Teddy Bridgewater his old Cardinals teammate in Parker.

#12 – Cleveland BrownsKevin White, WR, West Virginia

They need to find a replacement for Josh Gordon considering he’ll be suspended until the 2024 season.

#13 – New Orleans Saints: Shane Ray, DE, Missouri

Some mock drafts have Ray going as high as third to the Jaguars. That’s ridiculous.

#14 – Miami DolphinsTrae Waynes, CB, Michigan State

There are many different directions the Dolphins can go here. They can go linebacker as it seems Dannell Ellerbe and Philip Wheeler are jokes, or wide receiver depending on the fate of Mike Wallace, or now corner as they’ve released Cortland Finnegan. The idea of Waynes-Grimes in the secondary is pretty enticing. But this is Joe Philbin’s Dolphins we’re talking about here. It’ll be a miracle if they get their pick in on time.

#15 – San Francisco 49ersT.J. Clemmings, OT, Pittsburgh

I fully expect the 49ers to nose dive after the departure of Jim Harbaugh. So they’ll take an offensive linemen here that nobody knows so he can protect Colin Kaepernick in his last two years as a relevant QB.

#16 – Houston TexansEreck Flowers, OT, Miami

The Texans are the biggest mystery in mock drafts thus far. Take NFL.com for example – two of the experts have Houston taking offensive linemen while the others have them taking a CB, RB, and LB. The position that makes the most sense is O-line.

#17 – San Diego ChargersMalcolm Brown, DT, Texas

Whatever helps the Chargers from getting from 7-9 to 8-8!

#18 – Kansas City Chiefs: Jaelen Strong, WR, Arizona State

I feel bad for any WR going to Kansas City. Here’s a true stat that’s impossible believe: no Kansas City receiver found the end zone last season. Not one. Couple that with Alex Smith’s inability to throw a ball further than 20 yards and you have yourself a wide receiver’s worst nightmare.

#19 – Cleveland Browns (via Buffalo)Andrus Peat, OT, Stanford

Unlike almost anything else in Cleveland I’d have to say I love the Browns’ draft so far. They get Kevin White with the 12th pick and take a solid OT in Peat with the 19th pick. Not a bad draft. If only it were real … like the Browns’ playoff hopes.

#20 – Philadelphia EaglesKevin Johnson, CB, Wake Forest

This is all hypothetical, of course, because the Eagles are going to give up their next 11 first-round picks to trade up and get Mariota, am I right?

#21 – Cincinnati Bengals: Arik Armstead, DT, Oregon

Weeeeeeeee!!! Another DT!!!

#22 – Pittsburgh Steelers: Bud Dupree, OLB, Kentucky

The Steelers and linebackers go together like A-Rod and steroids. One does not thrive without the other.

#23 – Detroit Lions: Eddie Goldman, DT, Florida State

Let’s assume Nasdkfjbaksjdfbkweo Suh doesn’t come back (all signs are pointing that way), the Lions will try and replace him immediately. There’s no other immediate need for this team aside from maybe corner and there isn’t a great corner to take here anyway.

#24 – Arizona Cardinals: A.J. Cann, G, South Carolina

The Cardinals have just about everything they need to contend for a title except for health and interior line. This ought to help one of the two.

#25 – Carolina PanthersD.J. Humphries, OT, Florida

I’m still bitter the Panthers made the playoffs with a 7-8-1 record. So they’ll solidify their mediocre team with a nice OT to keep Cam Newton from running scared every damn game.

#26 – Baltimore Ravens: Dorial Green-Beckham, WR, Missouri

Ahhhhhhh there he is! My favorite player of this year’s draft! And wouldn’t you know it: the Ravens are the ones taking the chance on him! This will wind up being the steal of the draft. You get a great WR 16 spots later because he’s branded with the dreaded “Do Not Draft” label by most teams. I don’t buy it. This kid is wicked talented.

#27 – Dallas Cowboys: Melvin Gordon, RB, Wisconsin

This is all assuming they let DeMarco Murray go. With Gordon’s speed and Dallas’ offensive line, can you imagine the ridiculousness that’s going to cause? But if Murray stays this still wouldn’t be a bad decision. Think Carlos Hyde-Frank Gore in San Francisco last year.

#28 – Denver BroncosCedric Ogbuehi, OT, Texas A&M

The entire key to this team is Peyton Manning. Therefore the entire key to this team hinges on Manning staying healthy. So if that means taking another linemen – they’ll do it.

#29 – Indianapolis ColtsBenardrick McKinney, LB, Mississippi State

The Colts have three players worth a damn: their two corners and Andrew Luck. They need to decide if they want to target offense or defense first and if it’s defense – linebacker is a good place to start.

#30 – Green Bay PackersPaul Dawson, LB, TCU

Ok. He had a shit Combine. But Dawson was a force at TCU and with AJ Hawk gone they need help at linebacker.

#31 – Seattle Seahawks: Todd Gurley, RB, Georgia

I LOVE this pick for Seattle. Gurley can sit behind Lynch for a year or so to learn. The two have a very similar running style. Hopefully one has more media awareness than the other.

#32 – New England PatriotsCameron Erving, C, Florida State

Yeah, yeah, we get it. You guys won the Super Bowl. Here’s a decent center that’ll keep Brady upright. Whoop-di-doo.

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